
 <Picard> "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding
 a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command
 pathways?"
 <Geordi>"Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our
 archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology."  
 <Geordi presses a  key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.>    
 <Riker looks puzzled.> "What the hell is 'Microsoft'?" <Mr. Data turns to
 answer.> "Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for   
 some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg command pathways. Once inside  
 their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an
 unstoppable rate."
 <Picard> "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their
 Processing systems to increase their storage capacity?"
 <Data> "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a new
 version      
 of itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use of resources increases 
 exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly
 enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over and none
 will be available for their normal operational functions."
 <Picard> "Excellent work. This is even better than that 'unsolvable geometric
 shape' idea." 
 <Data>  "Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows' in the command
 unit and as expected it immediately consumed 85% of all resources.  We however
 have not received any confirmation of the expected 'upgrade'."
 <Geordi> "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU
 capacity to compensate, but we still have no indication of an 'upgrade' to
 compensate for their increase." <Picard>  "Data, scan the history banks again
 and determine if there is something we have missed." 
 <Data>  "Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the 'upgrade'.
 Apparently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in
 their registration cards. <Riker>  "Captain we have no choice.  Requesting
 permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F . . ."
 <Geordi, excited>  "Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU capacity has
 suddenly dropped to 0% !"<Picard>  "Data, what do your scanners show?"
 <Data>  "Appearently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module named
 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity."
 <Picard>  "Lets wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can reduce their
 functionality." 
 .. . .  Two Hours Pass  . . . 
 <Riker>  "Geordi whats the status on the Borg?"
 <Geordi>  "As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate
 for
 increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase
 resources I have setup our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more
 'windows' modules from something called the 'Microsoft fun-pack'. 
 <Picard> "How much time will that buy us ?"
 <Data>  "Current Borg solution rates allow me to predict an interest time span
 of 6 more hours."
 <Geordi>  "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector."
 <Picard>  "Identify." 
 <Data>  "It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo"
 <Over the speakers>  "THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP
 MONOPOLY.  WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS
 SECTOR.  SURRENDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE.  YOU HAVE 10
 SECONDS" 
 <Data>  "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released
 thousands of humanoid shaped objects." 
 <Picard>  "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft" 
 <Riker>  "Good God captain!  Those are humans floating straight toward the
 Borg
 ship with no life support suits !  How can they survive the tortures of deep
 space ?!" 
 <Data>  "I don't believe that those are humans sir, if you will look closer I
 believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized by leather
 briefcases, and wearing Armani suits" 
 <Riker and Picard together horrified>  "Lawyers !!"
 <Geordi>  "It can't be.  All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling
 into
 the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening."
 <Data>  "True, but appearently some must have survived." 
 <Riker> "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with all types
 of papers." 
 <Data>  "I believe that is known in ancient vernacular as 'red tape' it often
 proves fatal." 
 <Riker>  "They're tearing the Borg to pieces!"
 <Picard>  "Turn off the monitors.  I can't stand to watch, not even the Borg 
